Happy Girl, Happy Mom

It has been WAY too long since I have written a post!  My last one was so cathartic and expressed what I was feeling perfectly.  It was like a tough act I didn't want to follow.  But...I miss posting so I thought I would start with a short follow up.  Simply put:  Elise loves school and I love being a mom who has her kids all in school and still gets to stay home.  The hours and days fly by.

I'll end with a funny Elise quote.
When asked at the dinner table to share her favorite part of the day, after a long, thoughtful pause Elise responded,  "It was brushing my teeth."

Gotta love four-year-olds!  They sure make life fun.
Dina

Endings, Beginnings

I was sharing the bed with Elise tonight.  Smoothing down her hair.  Watching her stretch.  Then the water works started.  She is starting school in 14 days.  I'd note the exact hours and minutes but that would be down right embarrassing.

Lately when I look at her, I gaze long and hard, taking in every detail.  I want to pour her in a cup and drink her up.

Did I read enough stories?  Do enough puzzles?  Have enough tea parties?  Tickle enough?  Laugh enough?  It's all slipping through my fingers like sand.

Wasn't five children and fourteen years enough?  Right now, it doesn't seem so.

I loved the gentle rhythm of the days.  Mealtimes, nap time, baths and bedtime with walks, playgrounds and toys sprinkled in.  I can still remember the reality of three children under the age of four.  Mess and chaos.  The gentle rhythm felt more like waves crashing on the shore threatening to pull me under.  But looking back that mess and chaos seem now as sweet as the jam I didn't have time to wipe from the counter.  As sweet as the syrup Anne always managed to get in her hair.  Sweet as bananas and cereal dribbling down baby chins.

The expanse from 8-3 has never looked so vast.  I remember the days when I would dream of time and space for myself.  To think.  To breathe.

It is quite a coincidence that Winnie-the-Pooh is in the movie theater again this summer.  If ever there was a romantic view of childhood and the magical years before school, this is it.  I was thinking about taking Elise to see it.  Actually, I guess I want her to take me.  I don't know if I can make it through the end without completely losing it:

And so we come to the last chapter, in which Pooh 

and Christopher Robin go to the 

enchanted part of the forest, and we say goodbye. 

Winnie-the-Pooh says, "Goodbye? Oh no, please. 

Can't we just go back to page one 

and start all over again?"

Sorry, Pooh, but all stories have an ending, you know.
 

"Oh, bother."

Right now, turning this page and ending a chapter seems so hard.  I have never been good with goodbyes.  Ask my mom.  If I stay in one place for five minutes, I am emotionally attached.  Being in this "place" for fourteen years, It is only natural to be sad.

“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an
end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”
~T.S. Eliot~  

So.  This fall, first, I will cry.  Then I will breathe.  Then I will think.  Then I will begin.  What?  I don't know.  Stick around and see.

Dina 

Right Here, Right Now

Here I am, up way too late, reading and reading and reading.  Then I realize- HEY- I had picked up the computer because I was wanted to WRITE a post.  Amazing how quickly one can get sidetracked in cyberspace.

Well, I am happy to report I am officially enjoying summer.  It takes me some time.  The transition is always difficult.  My ideal summer and my REAL summer need time to melt into one another.  The past few days there have been times when the ideal has become reality.  Actually, I think that probably happens more often than we realize.  Being aware of it is the trick.

On Sunday after several days of rain, Mark was determined to take the kids to the pool.  The gray clouds were sufficient warning this was not a good idea but he persisted and I helped the process along, dreaming of reading and writing alone.  I transported everyone and ran an errand.  Then I went back to the club to check on everyone.  Big mistake.  I should have run for cover.  Instead I found myself rained in at the club with the family.  As luck would have it everyone else took the hint (and a strong one I might add) from the menacing gray clouds and stayed away.  The Women's World Cup Final was on the big screen tv and we had the place almost to ourselves.  Lifeguards and workers alike joined the party.  One kind gentleman kept us supplied with freshly popped popcorn and pretzels.  The rain drenched the tennis courts and splattered against the wall of windows.  The kids were watching the soccer match, munching on snacks and playing with tennis balls.  It was an impromptu party and a cozy one at that.

No place else I would have rather been.  Right there, right then.

Last Thursday I went to the midnight premiere of Harry Patter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.  We sat in line for hours and watched the parade of HP fans in their costumes while my daughter Anne read to us from The Idiots Guide to Harry Potter.  The excitement was palpable by the time they let us into the theater.  From the very first scene we were drawn in.  The two hours and fifteen minutes passed so quickly.  The movie was stunning and came to a satisfying conclusion.  In the theater packed with die hard fans...

No place else I would rather have been.  Right there, right then.

Today I took some of the kids to the pool.  It is stressful to me to watch Elise at the pool.  She can't swim yet but wants to be in on the action.  Finally, she gave me a break and decided to splash around in the baby pool.  I found a few discarded toys for her to play with.  It was getting a little too hot so I decided to sit on the edge and put my feet in.  Ahhhhh!  Now I could relax and enjoy myself.  Next thing I know, Elise and I are having a tea party then I am watering her while she pretends to be a flower.

No place else I would have rather been.  Right there, right then.

Now here I am in a comfy chair in my quiet living room.  All the children are asleep upstairs.  I am listening to Mark snore on the sofa across from me and there is the quiet hum of the air conditioning.  I should have been sleeping long before now but there is no place I would rather be.  Right here, right now.

If you look for those moments, you will find them right before your very eyes.  Here's to stealing a few more of them before the summer's end.

Dina

Lucky Me

I have been dreaming of writing for some time now.  Hesitantly, fearfully but dreaming none the less.  I have not been sure just what shape my dream would take and I certainly didn't commit to following it in any way.  To commit would require action which would require decision.  Decision?  Did I just mention the "D" word? 

If you have been with me on this blogging journey for some time you will remember the post where I couldn't decide on my hair color.  Small decisions are paralyzing.  Every time I am almost out of flavored coffee creamer, I approach the dairy aisle with high anxiety.  Recently, a friend described this heavenly liquid as "Christmas in a cup".  How perfect!  Of course, bringing Christmas into the picture only made things worse.  Christmas means peace, joy and love in just the perfect combination.  It means high expectations which lead to disappointment and disillusionment.  Now bring that expectation to the dairy aisle and  I am breaking out in a sweat.  Now Dina, you may think, are you seriously stopped in your tracks by this tiny insignificant decision?  I am embarrassed (however slightly) to admit it.  You would think I was marrying the darn creamer!

Big decisions are easy.  Move to England.  Sure!  Now what color suitcases to buy to go to England is another story.  You get the picture.  So my dreaming of writing is stalled by trivial decisions such as computer vs. notebook.  Do I write in a notebook by hand or tap away on the keys of the computer.  Certainly a big enough choice to derail any dream!  Well, the computer has been at my disposal all this time and hasn't spurred any great feats of writing so I decide to try the notebook.  You guessed it.  There I am in Office Depot deciding which color notebook to MARRY.  Ridiculous but true.

Enter fate, muses or the Holy Spirit (which I prefer to call it).  Over and over again, I am guided and shown glimpses of a possible writing life.  Lucky me for each of those guides and glimpses.

• Lucky me that my brother-in-law has a desire to write and is armed with a fabulous book to lend me on the subject.  Not to mention that he actually is willing to answer his cell phone when he sees me calling and knows he may be attacked by a bout of inspiration which I ramble about incessantly.
• Lucky me that I have a mom who loves reading and introduced me to the love of story at an early age.  Lucky me that we still share this love and recommend books and chat about character and plot.
• Lucky me that I met my alter ego online a few weeks ago.  She is a blogging, knitting, Harry Potter-reading, British-Royalty loving mother of five.  Blows the mind, doesn't it?  She came to New Orleans and we had a three hour coffee chat that felt like five minutes.  She has worked as a writer/editor and is willing to help me along this path.
• Lucky me that I have many friends like you, dear readers, that openly encourage me in my writing.
• Last and most importantly, lucky me to have a husband who understands.  When I explain that I want to write his answer is, okay so write.  When I protest that this will require hours of doing nothing else he responds, okay so write.  When I worry that all this may come to nothing he responds, that's okay.  Just write.  He gets it.  Not only will he not stand in my way, he will wholeheartedly support me.

So, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  I did decide on a notebook color.  It is the perfect shade of black that says, "Write damn it!".  On to steps two, three, four...

Dina

Same Chair, New Inspiration

Here I am sitting in the same chair.  It is a well worn, wing-backed chair that we call "king of the castle" seat at my in-law's house.  From your perch in this chair, you get the best view of the tv and a nice view of the leafy backyard as well.  Armed with remote, magazine, book and/or computer I think I could sit here in my pajamas literally ALL DAY.  I don't think, I KNOW.  Not going to happen today but it's 11:30 and I am still in my pj's and in the chair.  Not bad.

Happened upon more "blog fuel".  This time it is titled, "7 Quick Takes Friday".  Make that Saturday and here goes...

1

I just read a fabulous book,  Love, Ruby Lavender.  If you are a fan of children's literature, I highly recommend it.  It is like Fried Green Tomatoes for kids.  Small southern town, lovable, quirky characters.  To borrow from another book review I read:  

"It is like sucking on butterscotch- smooth and sweet."

2

 Love, Ruby Lavender includes correspondence between Ruby and her grandmother Eula.  I adore books of letters.  My all-time favorite is 84 Charing Cross Road with The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society a close second.

3

I am a complete Harry Potter geek.  After polishing of all 4000+ pages of the seven-book series the last few months, I keep wondering why I jumped on the band-wagon so late.  I purposely go out of my way to pass the theater just to see the HP 7, Part 2 movie poster.  I could say I only do this for my kids but I would be lying.  Daniel Radcliffe IS Harry and I am utterly in love with them both.

4

We have slipped into a nice summer routine.  Up later, to bed later but just a bit.  I have given my kids a list of things they need to accomplish every day.  Dress, brush teeth and hair, read and say a prayer.  It is basic enough to make us all happy.

 

5

We have a friend from Mexico living with us to learn English.  Keep saying I will blog about it.  She arrived almost two weeks ago.  I promise to write about it soon.

 

6

Sam just got Rosetta Stone Japanese and is breathing down my back for the computer.  Don't want to keep him waiting any longer so I will just hit "publish post" and be done.  

 

 

 

Sayonara!
Dina   

 

   

 

Blog Fuel

Happy Friday!  Happy Summer!

I was up early this morning to see Mark off for a business retreat this weekend.  He will be in Saint Petersburg bonding with coworkers over kayaking and delicious meals.  I will be home with the kids.  So is life.

Deciding to grab the computer and a cup of coffee instead of a few more moments of shut-eye, afforded me the opportunity to wander aimlessly through articles, links and blogs.  I love when I have the time to do this.  Then I think about all I would like to write about on my blog.  Then I become overwhelmed.  Then the day crashes in on me and I never get around to posting.

Not today.  I happened upon some fuel for my blog.  I found inspiration in the idea of a "day book" where you fill in the prompts.  Perfect for a procrastinator like me.  Here goes:

Outside my window is my in-laws' beautiful, lush, green backyard.  We have been hanging out here for a few days.

I am thinking about poems and music and books that people wrote about on the blogs I visited this morning.

I am thankful for mornings like this.

From the kitchen... My sister gave me a cookbook for my birthday titled Cooking Up a Storm and last night I tried Mexican Lasagna which was delicious.

I am wearing Nick and Nora pajama pants that make my heart so happy because they have travel desintations all over them in bright colors- New Zealand, Japan, London, Italy, Paris- along with my Seagrove Beach t-shirt, a souvenir from our recent trip to the beach.

I am going to pack up all our things today and drive back to New Orleans.

I am reading Little Women for the fourth time and I will make it to the end this time!  It is fun to read it again as a mom.  I have always placed myself in the role of one of the sisters but now I see it from a different perspective.

On my mind... How to get into the groove of summer.  How to be "Pantry Police" and monitor the hours of electronics all summer.  How to strike the perfect balance of relaxation, loosened structure, healthy living and keeping my sanity.

Around the house we are getting ready to celebrate Sam's 14th (gulp!) birthday.

One of my favorite things is actually getting the ideas out of my head and onto the "paper".

A few plans for the rest of the week... I love answering this one on Friday because there isn't much week left to fill.  That way I don't have to admit to being without much of a plan these days. :-)  However, this weekend will include laundry, finally unpacking from the beach and visiting my in-laws in Baton Rouge as well as celebrating Sam's birthday.

There.  Done.  Why, oh why don't I just sit down and write more often?  Oh well.  Hope you are still out there reading.  Either way I feel better having collected my thoughts and thrown them into cyberspace.

Dina

Royal Procrastination

I have been wanting to post something about the Royal Wedding for some time now.  I have been wanting to write ever since they announced the engagement back in February.  I have been putting it off and putting it off.  I realized if I don't write soon, I'll be discussing the birth of their first child so here goes...

First of all, let me tell you about my experience with another royal wedding.  I was in London until the day of the wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Diana.  It was amazing to be there!  Anything and everything had their images emblazoned on it with the words "commemorative" and "official souvenir".  I have a stamp that was made to honor the occasion beautifully framed and hanging in my living room.  I have several "official" souvenir books as well.  My favorite mementos, however, are the photos I have of all the carriages.  My aunt and I got up at the crack of dawn the day before the wedding to watch the rehearsal.  I remember how cold it was and how thrilled we were to join in the excitement that surrounds such an historic event.  The day of the wedding, we flew to Belgium and watched from there.  No setting the alarm like every other American.  Belgium is actually an hour ahead of England.  I was thirteen years old and thought it was truly a fairy tale.  As a matter of fact, I have a sapphire engagement ring (only a FEW carats smaller) because of Diana.

Diana was fascinating to watch as I went through high school.  William and Harry were adorable.  It was sad to witness the downward spiral of her marriage.  Don't we all remember where we were when we heard about her death?  My heart broke watching those forlorn boys walking behind her casket.  I was living in DC at the time and we went to see the British Embassy, the grounds covered with flowers similar to the gates at Buckingham Palace.

When we were in England, we had the chance to visit Kensington Palace which is where Diana and the boys spent many years.  We also saw the Diana Memorial Playground in Kensington Gardens.  Watching the kids play there will always be a favorite memory.

Fast forward to now.  I have always thought Kate Middleton was absolutely adorable.  It has been fun to follow their on again, off again relationship and I was excited when William finally proposed.  The first thing I did was to ask two of my British friends if they would send me a stamp once it was issued.  My friend and I made plans to watch the wedding together.  I slept at her house and we dutifully awoke at 4 am to catch all the coverage.  We ate scones and sipped tea as well as some other treats I had ordered from England including treacle tarts and Victoria slices (named after Queen Victoria).  What a splendid morning.  The dress, the ceremony, the Abbey- everything was just so lovely all I could do was sigh.  Okay, everything except Fergie's daughters.  Ugh!  Could have done without that side show!  I talked to a friend who was there with her husband and three young children.  She said it was crazy but so much fun.  They went to the Abbey the day after and saw Kate's bouquet on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and other things that hadn't yet been removed.  She sent me a "commemorative" tin of biscuits with the couple's picture.  What a treat!

I would imagine that any wedding of an heir to the throne causes quite a stir in the UK but this was even more.  I think everyone could sense how genuine of a couple they are.  I know the monarch of England is nothing but a figure head these days but I do think William will make a great ambassador and "face" for England around the world.  His mother's love shines on through him.  Kate seems to be all that Diana was and more.  She has a similar grace, elegance and charm.  Unlike Diana however, she brings to the marriage the blessings of a stable home and warm, happy childhood.  It was sad to watch old footage of Charles and Diana and see how empty their relationship appeared.  I have talked about that with several people lately and the discussion has gone the same.  Maybe they shouldn't have married.  It certainly, with the luxury of hindsight, seems to have been a mistake.  The quick response is:  Wait.  Then there would be no William.  God brings goodness even out of our mistakes.

Oh yeah... besides the biscuit tin, my friend Mary says the stamp is in the mail!

Cheers!
Dina