A Post From Mark

Carnival time when you grow up in New Orleans is such a special time of year.  It was not until I left for my first Congressional internship in January of 1990 that I realized this fully.  That was when I attended the annual Krewe of Louisiana Mardi Gras in DC.  The three day event is a wonderful tradition and I sensed right away how much this piece of New Orleans culture meant to people in our nation's capitol from all over the country.  For me, it was a nice little slice of home but it was not the real thing.  Talking to people that weekend made me think about all of my memories of Carnival up to that point in my life. 

The experience for New Orleanians differs depending on your age and your family and mine was no exception.  Unlike many others, my immediate family (with a few exceptions) did not belong to any Carnival Krewe and did not ride in any of the parades.  In the 1970s, we lived in the suburb of Metairie in Jefferson Parish whose own series of parades was quite robust in comparison to those in New Orleans.  My father would take us to the end of the traditional parade route that began at Clearview Mall on Veterans Boulevard and rode all the way past Bonnabel because there was less traffic and easier to attend.  Kale and Josh, my two younger brothers and I would bring Schewgmann Supermarket paper grocery bags to catch beads and doubloons.  We would always come home each evening, lay out our catches, much like kids would after Halloween, and compare our haul of stuff.  At a certain time, the local New Orleans Times Picayune would have a section that laid out all the various doubloons for each parade so we could plan, in advance to catch all the different colors.  I would follow certain floats for several blocks just to make sure I would get every color.

One year, about the time I was 10 years old, the New Orleans Police officers went on strike during Carnival and all the parades were in Jefferson Parish meaning our formerly less crowded routine was upset.  We stayed at my cousins place several evenings and cars were parked all over there neighborhood for parades two miles away!  That was when I first really sensed how big this celebration was called Mardi Gras.  A few years later my father accepted a transfer to Baton Rouge but we still made it a point to be in New Orleans during parade season, especially since my grandmother had moved into a place on Carondelet, just off Saint Charles where many of the New Orleans Krewes paraded.

Most of the stories from high school and LSU are best left to memory with one major exception.  While at LSU, my fraternity rented a flat bed for a rig and had it parked on third and Saint Charles Avenue each year for Mardi Gras day.  Just before Mardi Gras day 1989 I had met Dina with some friends at LSU one evening out at Murphy's Bar.  Shortly thereafter we met up again Mardi Gras and spent the whole morning and afternoon together, laughing, joking, drinking, and talking about how much we loved New Orleans.  There was a little magic, just sitting on the curb talking about things, almost oblivious to the floats and bands going by.  We did not seriously date until the Fall of that year but it was Mardi Gras day when we really began to know one another.  So when I put some of the kids on a Mardi Gras ladder, watch them check out all of their throws back at home after a parade, and relax on the sofa after a long day of parading, I am reminded of that lovely day back in 1989 when I first came to know Dina.  I will always revere Mardi Gras and treasure this amazing tradition that makes New Orleans one of the truly authentic cultures in America. 

It's a New Orleans Thing

Excuse me for posting this bad photo.  The cake got the best of us and we dove in before I remembered I wanted a photo to share with you.  Sooo...Happy Kings' Day!  It is the feast of the Epiphany, celebrating the day the three kings found baby Jesus.  What a great day to be a New Orleanian!  We finish the festive Christmas season only to begin the fabulous celebration of Carnival.  Out with the red and green and in with the purple, green and gold!  Enjoying king cake with my family in New Orleans sure beats being snowed in at the Gatwick airport as I was last year at this time.  Although I have to admit, last night,  I was wishing I could sit through a performance of the Lion King in London just one more time.

By the way, I have done some refreshing of the blog.  I hope those of you who subscribe and are getting this message via e-mail will visit the actual site and check it out here.  Look out world (or at least you, dear readers), I am rested, refreshed and ready to blog!

Those of you not lucky enough to live in NOLA- let me know if I need to eat a piece of king cake for you.  It will be tough, but I am willing to make the sacrifice.

Dina

New Year's Eve

I have never liked New Year's Eve and I have finally figured out why.  When I was younger, I felt conflicted.  I thought I should join friends in their New Year's Eve revelry, but I didn't see the point.  What was so happy about the passage of time?  I felt sad.  That is how thinking about the passage of time makes me feel.  Not terribly sad, just wistful, like the bittersweet words and melody of a James Taylor song.  Images of events from the past year, fill the tv screen.  Then there is the sentimental, farewell montage of those who have died.   Events, both good and bad and people who are lost forever.  Therein lies the answer to why New Year's is hard for me.  It is the realization that we are trapped in time.

During and after Katrina, I loved listening to a song by Anna Nalick called Breathe.  The words were so meaningful to me in those weeks and months but also shed light on that "trapped in time" feeling.

Life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button now
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe.

"An hourglass glued to the table"- Those words perfectly and poignantly express our passage through time.  It explains why I ache when I look at a picture of a chubby infant with a toothless grin whose breathe is sweeter than all the flowers in the world.  An infant that is lost to me forever.  It's that damn hourglass.  Don't you wish occasionally, that you could pick it up and at least slow down the sands of time, if only for a moment.  Yet, if the moment wasn't fleeting, would it be so beautiful?

Years ago when Mary Elizabeth was beginning to understand mortality, she was coping with the fear it brings.  She asked dozens of questions about Heaven.  Will my room be there?  Will my favorite toys be there?  Will my favorite food be there?  Of course, for a young child, the simplest answer is- yes.  They can't imagine happiness outside of the earthly things that make them happy.  As we age, we move beyond that idea.  We learn more and more about letting go and how fleeting earthly happiness is.  I have come to the conclusion that Heaven and eternal joy is simply, existing with God outside the prison of TIME.

Like I said before, I am not terribly sad on this holiday, just a little reflective.  The passing of time can also be a positive thing- fresh starts, wounds healed.  As much as I miss past stages of childhood, I would not want to be trapped in sleepless, nursing nights forever.  Time is both an enemy and a friend.  In thinking about time, I looked up about a million quotes about the subject.  Some made my brain hurt.  Some made me want to cry but most were hopeful.  Here's a lovely one I'd like to share:

Today is a smooth white seashell, 

hold it close and listen 

to the beauty of the hours.

On that note, here's to a new year full of beautiful hours.

Dina 

Post #83 (for lack of a better title)

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Mark got a flight home at the last minute and we decided to surprise the kids.  It was such a treat to bring them to the airport, thinking we were picking up our cousin from New York, to find their dad standing there instead.  We scooped him up on Thursday morning and headed straight for his parents' house in Baton Rouge.  We spent the entire holiday there.  And I do mean, ENTIRE.  We even managed to squeeze in dinner on Sunday night before heading back.  After several days and nights of eating, visiting, movie-going (Tangled was great.) and football watching (thanks Saints for defeating the Cowboys), I was happy to come home and get back to a routine.  A routine which, at this time of the year, includes celebrating Advent and preparing for Christmas.

Every year I say that it seems they are starting with Christmas earlier and earlier  but it is getting ridiculous.  This year I was absolutely floored to hear Christmas music on the radio BEFORE Thanksgiving!  Have they no shame?!  Confession time:  The song was that John Lennon song "So this is Christmas" or "Happy Christmas".  Either way, it is one of my favorites.  I have to confess that I did pause and even ask the kids for reinforcement by announcing,  "We can't actually listen to this now, right?"  The answer very emphatically was, "RIGHT!".

The weekend before, I had read an article about celebrating Advent and how our popular, secular, mall-crazy, consumer-driven culture really makes it a challenge.  True.  So, I am on a crusade to hold off Christmas as long as possible.  Right?  Well, maybe.  I love the tradition of the Advent wreath and so do the kids.  I love getting out the empty manger.  It makes Advent real for the kids.  It paints a picture of exactly what Advent is, a time to wait joyfully and patiently on Baby Jesus.  However...  that darn Christmas music keeps playing on every station.  Lights are twinkling all over the neighborhood.  Friends are posting on Facebook that their tree is up and everything is done.  (Yes, dear reader, you know who you are. :-)  All the sparkle and the glitter has my head spinning.  It's drawing me in and it is STILL November, mind you!  What's a girl to do?  Well, I could start by actually lighting the Advent wreath, couldn't I?  I promise I will... tomorrow.  Then out will come the manger and I will prepare for Christmas taking my own sweet time.


We now interrupt this blog for a message from our sponsor:


Are you ready for Christmas?  Put all that Advent talk aside for a moment.  Get out your Christmas list and get some shopping done.  With ME!  I'd love to help with your gift list.  Now through Friday night, I am hosting a Virtual Open House.  Click this link then check out the catalog.  www.mythirtyone.com/dszelden  If you find something you like, shop under "Place an Order" and look for the Virtual Open House to participate.  If you are local, you are welcome to join me for coffee and pastries (8:30-Noon) or wine and cheese (6-9 pm) this Friday.  Now back to the blog...

I haven't talked about it on the blog but just before Mark took this job in DC, I had decided to try another home-based business.  Long story short, I love it and have been having so much fun selling it.  It is a nice outlet.  I get to talk to adults and pretend to be a grown-up a few nights/days a month.  What a treat.  Seriously, it has been a blessing and I am amazed at how much I have grown as a person.  I have achieved all but one of the goals I set for myself.  This month I have a big goal so I am letting you know about it.  The products are great and reasonably priced- tote bags, purses, accessories.  Please check it out.

So, I guess what I figured out in this Advent/Christmas preparation debate I  had with myself is this:

“Advent: the time to listen for footsteps - you can't hear footsteps when you're running yourself.” Bill McKibben

I will try to walk quietly through this season in hopes that I hear His footsteps.  Hoping your Advent season is meaningful.


Dina

Wordle

 

 

I am really not sure how this will look to those of you who subscribe to my blog and receive my posts in an e-mail.  You may have to link back to the website to see it but first try clicking on "display images".  As a matter of fact, click on "always display images" if that is an option.  That way you will be ab;e to see any photos I have with the post.

Anyway, I came across this website ( http://www.wordle.net/) some time ago and stumbled across it again this morning.  Since I LOVE words, I LOVE this website.  It is really fun to create your own Wordle.  You can even type in your blog and it will create a wordle using all the words from your posts.  Words appear larger depending on how many times they are written  I tried it and guess what word appeared larger than any other...HATE!  I thought that was pretty funny.

Happy Sunday!  Go Saints!

Dina

Rejuvenation

I am beginning to sense a theme here.  Last Wednesday night, when I wrote last, I had gotten to spend time out of the house, ALONE.  When I returned, I told my mother-in-law, who was watching the kids, that I felt as if I had slept for eight hours.  It was so rejuvenating.  Here I am one week later, feeling well rested once more.  I had a small bit of time ALONE again today.

Often the very things I love cause great stress.  It is ridiculous.  Today I went to three great places, all of which can bring on bouts of hyperventilation.  First stop was a fabulous toy store which should probably be called a toy boutique.  At least, that's what I would call it.  (Yes, I do have fantasies of owning a toy/book boutique filled with any and every European, wooden toy known to man.)  What fun to peruse all the brightly colored, well made toys.  I picture my kids (possibly wearing lederhosen) spending hours blissfully ignoring the tv and computer to nourish their creative, imaginative powers.  Somewhere between the wooden knights' castle and the board games, reality sets in.  Closet space, budget and family game night come to mind.  Barely enough, never enough and often ends in tears and/or arguments.  It is often painful to move from possibility to reality, isn't it?


Next stop was an adorable cupcake shop.  Generally, positioning myself in front of baked goods causes stress.  Talk about moving from possibility to reality.  I want a bite of everything but have to commit to just one.  Reminds me of the hair color episode back in England.  I have to remember, I was not marrying the hair color and this will not be the last sweet I ever eat.  Today was different.  Today was simple.  She had me at pumpkin.  Add cream cheese frosting and it was a no-brainer.  Everything about this miniature shop on Magazine Street made my heart sing, from the mounds of beautifully decorated cupcakes to the turquoise walls, right down to the bistro-style table and chairs inviting you to linger a little while.  Pure bliss.

On to another favorite- Whole Foods.  I sigh the minute I walk through the doors.  It is an absolute feast for the eyes, not to mention the smells and all those great samples to taste.  Until visiting this store, I didn't know produce could make me smile.  Honestly, it is God at his best.  Can you believe He created all those beautiful fruits and vegetables?  It almost makes me want to be a vegetarian.  I said ALMOST!  Don't even get me started on the bakery or the salad bar.  The best part about the salad bar is that I don't have to marry one dish.  I can date them all!  Who thought wheat berries could look so good?  Today I had curried chicken salad, basmati rice salad and chickpea and vegetable salad.  That pumpkin cupcake was the perfect finish.


I was wondering what it was about my outing that made me feel rejuvenated.  What had my heart singing, feeling invigorated?  Then I realized the common thread was beauty.  The finely crafted toys, the handmade sweets and display after display at Whole foods are all beautiful.  What does beauty show us?  Very simply, when we encounter beauty, we encounter God.  I'll end with this lovely quote I found.

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting -- a wayside sacrament.
Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every flower, and thank God for it as a cup of blessing.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

May you see God's handwriting all around you.

Dina

PS.  Thanks for all the great comments after the last post and for sharing your hate!

Where to Begin

Generally, starting at the beginning is a good idea.  The problem is the beginning of life-as-I now-know-it seems a distant memory.  Actually it was just the day before Labor Day when Mark left for a job in DC and I was left to run our household alone.  He was gone from then until just about two weeks ago.  He came home for a visit and left this afternoon.  I wanted to talk more with no kids around to interrupt us.  I wanted to bury my nose in his neck a little longer.  I wanted to hold back the tears so he wouldn't feel guilty leaving me here alone.  I couldn't.  Then I turned around to my daughter's precious face looking at me, trying to figure out my sorrow.  I could almost see it penetrating her.  Besides, there was carpool, homework and dinner.  There was no time to curl into a ball and cry.  That is good- MOST of the time.  It could be beneficial, occasionally.

That being said, I want to jump in where I am right now.  No time for back story.  Feeling the need to share the details of how we arrived at this situation has had me paralyzed in writing the blog.  I miss it.  I feel inspired.  So here goes.

Tonight I just wanted some time away from the house and the kids.  Thankfully my new neighbor who happens to be an old friend (yes, long story there) took me to the bookstore.  Bookstores are one of my favorite places.  My friend spotted a book called The Hate Book.  It was covered with pictures of rainbows, unicorns and sunshine.  We laughed at the bizarre combination of title and cover art.  I couldn't imagine liking anything about this book being the Polly Anna, glass half-full, rose-colored glasses girl that I am but I couldn't resist just a peek.  Well, the next hour and a half was spent thoroughly enjoying the book, chatting with my friend and making my own hate list.  I didn't know just how hateful I was and it inspired me to share my random list with you.  I hope you will make your own list and maybe share it with me.  Okay, maybe just one thing you hate...as a comment to this post... pretty please?

I hate that I haven't blogged since August 14.
I hate that I have great ideas for blogs but don't stop to write them or at least jot notes down for later.
I hate knowing I would probably never go back to those notes.
I hate that my fingers are not as fast as the thoughts flying through my head.
I hate that the best jobs for Mark are in DC but we really want to make a life in New Orleans.
I hate that lots of people don't "get" New Orleans and love it like I do.
I hate that we couldn't live in England longer.
I hate that I can't speak another language.
I hate that I didn't always read the assigned books in high school.
I hate that there aren't enough hours in the day.
I hate that I can't be in New Orleans, Nantucket, New York, Paris and Disneyworld simultaneously.
I hate the way most people drive.  I hate that I think I am a better driver than most people.

I hate that since Mark left, I haven't read, written or knitted anything.
I hate that I can't remember half the things I wanted to share with you.
I hate wondering if anyone cares to read my "postcards" now that they are from New Orleans instead of the UK.
I hate cucumbers.
I hate that I will never get to sing and dance on Broadway.
I hate that I didn't realize until now how therapeutic this is
but
I
LOVE
that
I
am
writing
to
you
again.

Shall you take a turn then? (read in a British accent) :-)
Dina

PS.  I hate hitting "publish" then having to wait on comments.  I hate that I often need instant gratification.