Although today was pretty frustrating at times, I have decided instead, to be happy for a few small victories. It began by us all waking up way too late. That always sets a bad tone for me. Before I knew it, it was after 10 and we were all still in our pj's. In the interest of reasonable shipping costs, I had to get our Christmas cards ordered this morning. Little decisions, like color and font on a card, stop me dead in my tracks. It was reaching "hair color dilemma" proportions and I forced myself to commit to a design and photos. Small victory number one.
We got dressed and brushed our teeth. Small victory number two. I know this one is pitiful but on a day like today, it counts.
For much of the day, I TALKED about all we should accomplish. And talked. And talked. It was always one small thing or another and before I knew it, the day was slipping through my fingers. I was feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and worst of all sorry for myself. Self-pity is never good. A few Hail Marys asking for grace go a long way. A video call from your mom helps too.
I made an attempt at getting some lessons done. I have to admit, I hate homeschooling. It stresses me out. I have a hard time managing everyone. It is hard enough to motivate myself, much less them and hard to teach without many resources. The kids get easily frustrating and protest at the smallest amount of effort required. I guess I will consider it a small victory, although it never leaves me feeling victorious.
Finally, we moved on to some fun activities. Before long, we had created a handmade Advent wreath. I was thrilled by our creation because we all put our heads together to make this centerpiece. I couldn't bring myself to purchase one, since we have one at home. I was determined to figure out a way to make one without many resources. I got four tea lights from around the house and placed them on the Lazy Susan on the middle of our table. Anne had the idea to add paper leaves so we traced our hands and cut them out for the greenery. Emme had the idea to put colored paper around the holders to indicate the candle color of purple or pink. I love this advent wreath made with creativity and love. We also managed to make a paper chain Christmas countdown. Definitely a victory.
We couldn't get out today because of the weather. As soon as I considered motivating myself to pull off the task of preparing all of us to go out in the cold- socks, shoes, hats, jackets, etc.-it would start raining again. Before I knew it, the chance to go while it was still daylight was gone because by about 4 o'clock we wouldn't have gotten to the library and grocery and back before dark. At this point, it just wasn't worth it. Sadly, breakfast tomorrow will be slim pickings. I decided to suck up the late fee for the two dvd's that were due. At least the kids were looking forward to watching Night at the Museum 2 again.
After dinner, we lit the Advent wreath. Of course, I would have preferred the kids to sit there like angels and discuss how they were going to prepare their hearts for Jesus. After a moment of disappointment, I realized it was not possible, especially not after a day inside with nothing to do and a mom who was just hanging on. After a small lecture, a promise was made by all, including myself, that we would rally and get through the rest of the week without yelling on my part and more help on theirs.
This pushed the reset button and the next hour was spent with them playing a game together, even if it was on the computer. This allowed me time to read Emma in front of the fire and finally find out who she loved. Best, small victory.
I was able to complete this entry before 10 pm. Last small victory. Good Night. Hoping for some sun tomorrow.