17 June 2013

Writing Motivation

I have been in such a writing funk lately.  Not wanting to blog, not wanting to write in a journal, etc.  I often think about why and how I started blogging.  It was to share our time in England with family and friends.  That was easy.  I just had to write about what we were seeing, doing and experiencing on a daily basis.  I felt like I was your eyes and ears and it was so fun to give you updates.

Now we are home.

Now life is normal, or as normal as any life gets.

Now I feel I need to make up for the mundanity ( funny aside- I looked up the noun form of the word mundane, chuckling to myself.  Would it be mundaneness or possibly mundanity?  Well, both are actually acceptable.  Who knew?  Well, now we all do!)  Anyway, I need to make up for the ho-hum every day stuff by blogging big thoughts.  Now, don't misunderstand me.  I think of myself as a reasonably intelligent person and will even credit myself with some bona fide "big thoughts" from time to time.  It's just that, while raising five kids, managing a house and even substitute teaching more often lately than not, those big thoughts can be few and far between.  Then add the step of getting them from my head to the paper and you see another layer added to an already mounting problem.  But...

I am miserable if I am not writing.  I am composing things in my head all the time so I am always feeling guilty about not getting them down on paper or a screen, whatever the case may be.  I am also of the mindset that I need to hash it all out in my head then it will flow out flawlessly.  Wrong.  Oh so wrong.  Terribly wrong.

I was reading a blog yesterday, falling in love with the family's story.  Then it hit me.  I was wasting time reading everyone else's story when I needed to be writing mine.  Regardless of what it is.  Besides that, some of my best posts, in my opinion have been ones that start out one place, meander a little and end up where I didn't expect.  Not sure who said it but I love the quote- No surprise for the writer, no surprise for the reader.

So...I was lying in bed just about to slip into a summer siesta when the phone rang.  Bummer.  Then I saw that the number was from the kids' camp in North Carolina.  in one second flat, I am wide awake, heart pounding.  Funny how much runs through your mind and the way your body reacts to sudden stress.  Breathe, Dina, breathe.  Answer the phone.  Yes, yes, I know where you are calling from.  Broken bone, please say it is ONLY a broken bone.  I am sure it has to do with William- my two visit-by-the-time-he-was-four emergency room kid.  "Yes, Mrs. Zelden this is (fill in the blank here)."  If you offered me a million dollars, I couldn't recall the person's name.  My head was too busy yelling- spit it out, for God's sake, spit it out!  What is wrong and with which one of my kids?  "First of all let me reassure that that everything is fine with William."  Big, huge sigh of relief.  "Well, it seems William went over his store account.  He went on an overnight so sometimes this happens."  It seems he had accrued a fifteen dollar balance.  Yes, you read that right fifteen dollars.  Heart attacks come cheap these days.  A mere fifteen buckaroos!

Now I am relieved but wide awake so I make my way downstairs to the computer and here I am.
Writing again.  Thanks to Camp Chosatonga, William and a $15 balance.

I'll take motivation any way I can get it!

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